Does my son deserve a Yaris?

[J.J. Jefferson]

Hey guys I have a serious question. My son, Skipper, is one heck of a kid, well he used to be. Between the ages of 16-19 he was very responsible and respectful. Now he is 20 and seems to have fallen in with the wrong crowd. He has already had a DUI, totalled my truck (2008 Chevy Silverado), and was riding with his friend in a stolen car! Luckily he has been able to avoid any major problems with the authorities.
His 21st birthday is coming up soon and he seems to have taken quite the shine to my new Yaris. He keeps making comments about how he wants one. Should I get him one? In about five years, when he moves out of the house, I don't want him to completely hate me or anything. Thanks guys.

[SilverBack]

Make him prove to you that he's cleaned-up his act between now and his bday, otherwise it's a no-go for him. He'll have to settle for a used POS and work his way up from there. Also, don't worry about him hating you if you don't buy him the Yaris, it's just a new car. He'll get over it. And when he gets older he'll realize you made the right move just because he didn't. IMO it's the only way kids learn.

[mryaris]

Living with the 'rents until age 26 *and* a free new car? Must be nice.

[H3LlIoN]

Originally Posted by mryaris

Living with the 'rents until age 26 *and* a free new car? Must be nice.

Haha no kidding. And people wonder why we live in an entitlement society full of welfare junkies. My parents bought me my first and only car at 15, and the yaris is my first new car, bought and *being* paid for on my own, at 26.

[J.J. Jefferson]

Well he is waiting on a settlement from a local supermarket. He slipped on a wet floor and injured his back. There was a wet floor sign but it was faded and you could not read the words "wet floor." The store had recently sold him alcohol and he was going back to get more. Now my son has a back injury that will probably never go away. The poor kid has to take a bottle or two a week of pain meds just to be able to function. Don't get me wrong, Im no softy on him but until the settlement is awarded, he has to stay at home. Once he gets his money, he is off to college.
I guess I just felt bad for the kid and wanted to do something nice for him by buying him a Yaris. I find it almost insulting that everyone doesn't own one! But then again, my opinion is going to be a little biased. I appreciate the response. The people on this forum are the best!

[Altitude]

Caveatipse.

[RedRide]

Why do so many parents fear that their children will hate them when all they are trying to do is to be a good parent? Some of these children need a swift kick in the ass... IMO!
A given child might not hate you if you buy him a car but, perhaps they wont respect you (as a parent) either.

Personally, I worked part time when still in jr high school and saved to buy my first (used) car and and no one handed me anything. My parents could have bought me a car but, they wanted me to learn a vauable lenson and realize that I, alone was responsible for my own finances in life. To this day, I thank them for that.

If he really can't work and you can wll afford it, then perhaps buying him a car is not out of line.
Bottom line, only you know the full extent of your situation.

[J.J. Jefferson]

Originally Posted by RedRide

Why do so many parents fear that their children will hate them when all they are trying to do is to be a good parent? Some of these children need a swift kick in the ass... IMO!
He might not hate you if you buy him a car but, perhaps he wont respect you (as a parent) either.

Personally, I worked part time when still in jr high school and saved to buy my first (used) car and and no one handed me anything. My parents could have bought me a car but, they wanted me to learn a vauable lenson and realize that I, alone was responsible for my own finances in life. To this day, I thank them for that.

He already doesn't respect me or my wife Bess. He uses foul language, yells at us, etc. I threatened to give him a real grown up a** whoopin one day and the threatened to call the police and then sue me for any damages! I know how it seems but I just think he may be a troubled kid. I know that since I had to go out of work on disability, the one thing that has given me as much happiness is my new Yaris. As for finances, once his settlement is awarded he will probably never need to work for several years. He has assured me that he is going to college though. Thanks for your input on this matter. I may just decide to give him that grown up a** whoopin if he keeps up his antics.
Jeff

[slothman86]

DUI = NO

Oh, If you did your job as a parent. He probably will hate you.

Does he live with you? If so and he treats you like that then you should seriously kick him out. You are responsible for giving him the tools to succeed in life. By the time they are 18 they should be on their own. At least I was.

[RedRide]

I was updating my op while you were you quoting me but, perhaps the frst draft was more suitable?

Evidently, he does need to be taught a lesson before he gets into more serious trouble in life.

[slothman86]

Originally Posted by Altitude

Caveatipse.

LOL! +1

[nemelek]

[QUOTE Should I get him one? In about five years, when he moves out of the house, I don't want him to completely hate me or anything. Thanks guys. [/QUOTE]

If his like and hate towards you depends on what you do or don't give him, you have already lost the fight.

[J.J. Jefferson]

Originally Posted by slothman86

LOL! +1

Caveatipse. What does that mean? I am new, is there some inside joke or something going on here?

[J.J. Jefferson]

Originally Posted by slothman86

DUI = NO

Oh, If you did your job as a parent. He probably will hate you.

Does he live with you? If so and he treats you like that then you should seriously kick him out. You are responsible for giving him the tools to succeed in life. By the time they are 18 they should be on their own. At least I was.

He still lives at home. He is in the process of waiting on a settlement due to an injury he sustained at a supermarket. He was a great kid until he fell in with the wrong crowd. I really hope that once he goes off to college he will mature some and really refocus his priorities.

[MadMax]

YGBSM! He treats you and your wife like crap, disrespects you and threatens you, and you're contemplating buying or giving him a car? Seriously, what in the hell are you thinking?

If he's over 18 and with that track record, the only thing you need to give him is a swift boot in the ass, the kind that rockets his ass out of your house! Unless he is going to college you have no obligation to keep him under your roof. As a matter of fact, you'd be doing a favor in teaching him a valuable life lesson that his actions have ramifications...

[H3LlIoN]

Originally Posted by J.J. Jefferson

He already doesn't respect me or my wife Bess. He uses foul language, yells at us, etc. I threatened to give him a real grown up a** whoopin one day and the threatened to call the police and then sue me for any damages! I know how it seems but I just think he may be a troubled kid. I know that since I had to go out of work on disability, the one thing that has given me as much happiness is my new Yaris. As for finances, once his settlement is awarded he will probably never need to work for several years. He has assured me that he is going to college though. Thanks for your input on this matter. I may just decide to give him that grown up a** whoopin if he keeps up his antics.
Jeff

And you're contemplating buying him a car? It's people like your son that ARE the reason I pay so many goddamned taxes. It sounds to me like that giant settlement he's getting for slipping on a wet floor [while intoxicated] should go to his college and living situation. The ONLY thing he deserves is a swift kick in the ass to get him moving. Otherwise, he's going to live in your house, blow the settlement on money and drugs, then limp along in college until he inevitable fails out. Good job, pop.

[J.J. Jefferson]

Originally Posted by MadMax

YGBSM! He treats you and your wife like crap, disrespects you and threatens you, and you're contemplating buying or giving him a car? Seriously, what in the hell are you thinking?

If he's over 18 and with that track record, the only thing you need to give him is a swift boot in the ass, the kind that rockets his ass out of your house! Unless he is going to college you have no obligation to keep him under your roof. As a matter of fact, you'd be doing a favor in teaching him a valuable life lesson that his actions have ramifications...

He is 20 (going to be 21 soon). He still lives at home, waiting on a settlement. When he gets his money (hopefully soon) he is definitely off to college. He made some mention the other day of taking it easy for a year or two (due to his back injury) before college. I do not think that is too unreasonable but his attitude has to change first. I wanted to buy him a Yaris because it is such a superior vehicle and thought that maybe it would be something we could bond over. This may sound a little over the top but owning a Yaris has really been a life changing event for me.

[H3LlIoN]

Your mind is already made up. Post back in "a year or two" and let us know how this worked out for ya'.




Now that that's over, post some pics of your yaris, and welcome to YW!