Just a good, wholesome story

[ChinoCharles]

There is no "I'm a Dumbass" forum, so I decided to put this here.

Let this be a warning to all of you with manual locks on this car.

I get home at midnight tonight after a nice night of rocking out on the drums (yes, I play everything) and a beer or two. Well, I decide I am going to pack my computer up and go out to my buddy's house because we're probably the only two idiots that do homework when most people are sleeping. I pull into my driveway and bust a nice half-donut and park it in neutral. I figure I'll leave it running while I'm packing up since I'd only be a few minutes. I hop out of the car and lock the door...

Oh shit, I just locked the door.

Hatch is locked. Passenger door is locked. Spare? I was using them... thats right, them. Two keys hang from the ignition. Of course I lost my keys for the first time in my life a week ago, and I didn't think to take one key off the spare ring and throw it in my drawer just in case. OK, calm down. I call AAA. I made a point to tell them the car was running, but when the guy gets there an hour later he said they didn't mention it. Figures. He also said they're backed up because everyone and their sister got into an accident in the past 24 hours. Also figures. He looks at the door and gets this look on his face like he just popped open a Chinese dictionary. That and the fact that this guy had meth face had me thinking I was SOL. He put the pink stick in the door for all of 5 seconds before calling bossie and bailing out of that one. Time for plan B.

Chino called the cops voluntarily? Man, this is a weird night.

Thank goodness the coolest cop ever came to the house. I couldn't have dealt with one of those snoody moustached fucks. I was freezing and frustrated as it was. Well, the cop got there in 10 minutes and I gave him the run down. First he tried a pink stick... passenger and driver side. Nothing. Then he went for the power window switches, but again nothing. I haven't actually got around to mounting them yet, so they moved every time he put pressure on them. Then he busted out the slim jim. At this point we have been poking things into the Yaris for 45 minutes and my car had been running for a solid 2 hours without moving a bit. BailOut, stop crying you hippy.

I was ready to stop freezing my sack off. I finally asked him to just pop the hood. That was easy enough. I disconnected the MAF sensor. That killed the engine. Then I disconnected the battery. At that point I literally walked upstairs, went into my room and made this kind of laughing-crying sound you only hear from psychopaths and the like. Then I sat down and started typing.

The good news? Our cars are a pain in the ASS to break into. Between the smooth plastic surface on the lock mechanism and the cable system, its going to take more than your ordinary thief to break into this car without smashing the window.

The bad news? I burnt gas for 2 hours for no reason, and if any of us ever lock our keys in the car we're SCREWED!

Fun story, isn't it?