Real life funny stories

[TinyGiant]

i love those random can't breath laughing moments... its nice to have them here and there :)

[GeneW]

Same place with cage had a female department head. She had just gone through a divorce. I think if she had had time to grieve and build her confidence back she'd have been fine. As it was she was angry, bitter and out for middle aged men. I eventually got into the cross hairs, which was unfortunate because I think in a different setting we'd have had a huge amount of fun together.

What made her more fascinating was her fashion model looks and PhD. She almost made it into the Astronaut Corps. She wasn't a lightweight, just hurting and a bit inexperienced working in industry.

In any case she was at her phone arguing with some guy. They went round and round and round. I ignored it as I had work to do.

An hour or so later we show up for the Department meeting. She comes in late and says,

"I talked to Martin of XXXXXX".

She set her work down and shrugged. One of the engineers turned to her and said "It's about the XXXXX, isn't it?"

"Yeah", "K" said. "I showed him who had the bigger dick".

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. This five foot ten blonde goddess with education, smarts, looks and poise opens her pie hole and says THAT?

Gene

PS

While I'm not certain I strongly suspect that K did not in fact have a dick. At least I hope not.

[GeneW]

The Production Staff despised K. They called her various unkind names. Of course she started off on the wrong foot, calling them "Incompetent" the second day she was on the job.

So they piled it on. Discovering that both she and I were single and almost the same age they tried to play matchmaker. They were not subtle about it.

One day one of them, a senior dude, said to her, "Hey, 'K', Gene was at your house the other night. He said he could see your hot tub from where he was hiding".

The guy later claimed, "She shuddered when I told her that". To which I replied, "Thanks a lot, XXXX".

Another time some guys were doing masonry work and using a hammer drill. This same guy says to 'K', "Damn, imagine that as a vibrator?"

K turns to him and says "No, the frequency of vibration is too slow".


Gene

[GeneW]

Originally Posted by TinyGiant

i love those random can't breath laughing moments... its nice to have them here and there :)

I agree.

Brief story....

Friend of mine named Jon had a surname which could be easily corrupted to the word "Wienie". He also was a Momma's boy who was not athletic and had poor body awareness.

Another friend named Joe had this shrieking voice, which he put to good effect. Especially in public, such as at a bowling alley.

Jon was fixing to bowl a straight and just as his swing hits the point of delivery Joe shrieks "Wienie" really loud.

Jon chokes, holding onto the ball, and the swing pulls him right off of his feet. If he'd done something called "Run" and "Play" now and then he'd have recovered nicely, but since he was (and still is) a couch potato he's helpless. That ball swept him right off of his feet.

He basically does half a flip and lands on his back with a loud "slam".

As a nice touch the ball falls out of his hand and dribbles into the gutter... lost.

Joe almost died laughing. I had to admit, I was laughing a bit too.

Jon was such a snob about exercise and here he was suffering the results of not doing any of it. He recovered quickly and proceeded to chase Joe a bit before the Attendant made him knock it off.

Gene