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Old 11-05-2012, 08:45 AM   #19
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1. Happy wife, happy life.

2. Never your fault; always your problem.
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Old 11-05-2012, 08:08 PM   #20
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^ sex has spoken.
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Old 11-06-2012, 08:24 PM   #21
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OK it's time for a joke ...




A couple whose marriage was going on the rocks sought the advice of a marriage counsellor. The counsellor pleaded with them to patch up their quarrel, but they were adamant.

"So," said the counsellor, "you know the consequences and you want to part. Remember this. You must divide your property equally."

The wife flared up. "You mean the $4,000 I have saved up? I must give him half? My money?"

"Yes," said the counsellor. "He gets $2,000. You get $2,000."

"What about my furniture? I paid for that."

"Same thing," answered the counsellor. "Your husband gets the bedroom and the living room; you get the dining room and the kitchen."

There was a challenging gleam in the wife's eye. "What about our three children?"

That stumped him. Shrewdly he assayed the situation, then he came up with a Solomonic answer. "Go back and live together until your fourth
child is born. Then you take two children and your husband takes two."

The wife shook her head. "No, I'm sure that wouldn't work out. If I depended on him, I wouldn't have the three I got."

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Old 11-20-2012, 11:27 PM   #22
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here is an article you might like. It's not a joke, it's some advice to newlyweds, from the Huff Post. Take with a grain of salt, of course.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/patric...usaolp00000009
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:52 AM   #23
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always marry your best friend, everything else takes care of itself
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:54 AM   #24
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Easy recipe for marital success.

1. I make the big decisions, she makes the little ones.
2. She decides which are which.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:58 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cali yaris View Post
Easy recipe for marital success.

1. I make the big decisions, she makes the little ones.
2. She decides which are which.
I've got to remember that one. LOL
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:54 PM   #26
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All this advice is really good guys, im due to be married in a couple months and we are having some difficult times..and i am getting second taughts, reading u guys comments really put me in a more understanding position
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:39 PM   #27
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Communication. If you both understand where you came from, you both will know where you're headed.

If your going to pass gas, make sure she's around to evaluate it.

The first line was so cheesy I just had to ruin it.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:48 PM   #28
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^ LOL. good one.

Cold feet/nervousness/doubts/etc. is NORMAL.
After all, you are going to prison for the REST of YOUR LIFE.
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Old 11-21-2012, 05:42 PM   #29
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my only advice is eat her vagina when she says so otherwise she will be mad and not tell you tell she is mad until the third day. Trust me I know.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:38 PM   #30
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Or 6 weeks later. Or 6 months later. Good advice.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:07 PM   #31
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tastes like chicken
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:43 PM   #32
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Remember that most women/girls think with the heart/feelings. We men just don't understand that. We base things on facts.

Hug and Kiss your wife and future kids often.

My wife and I have been married 26 plus years. 24 of those years she's had Lupus. I still love her as if I just met her.

I make sure she has whatever she needs before I go to bed. I can tell when she's in pain by the look on her face, or the way she's moving around.

I massage her back daily to make sure she's able to sleep that night.

She also does the same for me.

When she's in Pain, she's real pushy. I have to remind her of that so she won't drive me over the edge. I'm human too.

Work through your problems together. No one has the right answer.

Treat your wife and future daughters like girls and you'll have a great marriage and life. Treat them any different and sleep with one eye open. Ask Lorraine Bobbet.

Last edited by screenprintr; 11-21-2012 at 08:15 PM.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:46 PM   #33
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Hug and Kill your wife and future kids often.
Freudian slip???
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Old 11-21-2012, 08:15 PM   #34
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ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I really meant, Hug and Kiss your wife and future kids.
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Old 11-21-2012, 10:58 PM   #35
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Besides the obvious... men and women want to be treated differently in their marriage.

Women want to be cherished.

Men want to be appreciated.



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