Coryn speaks

[HTM Yaris]

Hey all My name is Coryn . Most of you are familar with my owner HTM Yaris . Sometimes ya just gotta ignore that Muh Fugga ( You know I love ya ) .

It all started in a far away land called Japan . I became self aware in March 2006 . I was poked , prodded , and tested . As if I wasn't gonna perform correctly . For God's sake , I'm a Toyota . Then one day I was told that someone from another far away land called USA required my companionship . Next thing I know I'm being put on this thing called a "ship" with a couple hundred of my brothers , sisters , and cousins . We were all scared to think about our soon to be owners . Visions of Soccer Moms and Delivery People made us cringe to the prospects .
After a week or so on the ship , I was unloaded onto this thing called a "train". Talk about being cramped , but hey , at least I could see outside . I must say this USA place is very beautiful . While riding in the train I could see in the distance , mountains with very tortuous roads . OH how I longed for those roads .
Next thing I know , I'm in this place called "South Carolina" . "Damn its HOT here" I thought . Well , at this point I was separated from the other Yari and put on a truck with some of my cousins . I was all alone now . Time to be a big girl .
After about an hour ride I arrived at this place called a "dealership" . My cousins and I were unloaded off the truck . My cousins were directed to this place called "The Lot" . One of my cousins was directed to this place called " The Showroom " . Me , I was put in this room all by myself . It was dark in there and no freakin windows .
A couple of day later the door rolled up and there stood two humans . One of them kept saying "Yes Sir , Yes Sir" . I hate ASS KISSERS . The other ....well he was this hippie ass looking freak of a person . He was wearing this shirt that had the letters "FTW" on the front . What the hell does that mean ? Then it occured to me " This must be my owner " . He walks up to me and puts his hand on my face and says " You are such a Pretty Girl , I have been waiting for you " . He then turned to the other human and said " I want this tireshine bullshit off my girl , Don't wash or wax , and leave the hubcaps in the back seat " . "Yes Sir , Yes Sir" the other human said . Did I mention my distaste for ass kissers ? Then the "Freak" comes over to me and kisses my nose and says " I'll be back tommorow Coryn , be nice " At this point , the jury was still out on this dude . But hey , at least he gave me a name and got that greasy crap off my tires .
Sure enough , the freak returned just as he said he would . When he sat in my seat , I felt something powerful . Something I never have felt before . He would later explain to me that was what is refered to as "BALLS" . Yeah whatever , they felt GOOD
So , the freak took me to his "Crib" as he puts it . Well when we got there , there was this "SKANK" named " Lady EVO " in the friggin driveway . I could tell we weren't gonna get along . Eventhough , I must be honest , she had wheels , tires and brakes to die for . Not to mention a cute little carbon fiber ass . A few days later " Lady Evo " suddenly disappeared . AAWWWW too bad SKANK , I miss you already ....NOT
A few weeks later HTM tells me he has a surprise for me . He gets in and starts driving down this LOOOOONG BOOORING road . After a couple of hours we crest this hill , and there they were . The mountains with the twisty roads that I had longed for . I prayed that this was not some cruel joke .
Then , he did it . He got off the boring road . We were now on the twisties Now I'm lovin life and my man The next few hours was one twisty after another . So many twisties I wet my bumper
After another hour or so we arrived at this place called "The Dragon" . I could tell right away I was gonna love this place .

We parked so we could rest a little , not that I was tired , but so my man could stretch . Well , all these people surrounded us and started asking all these question like " What the hell is that ? " and " How many hours did it take you to get up the Mountain " . People would walk by , point at us and chuckle . And what was my man doing , drinkin a freakin Mountain Dew .
Then my man looks at me and ask " Are you ready Coryn ? " and I'm thinking "Hell to the YEAH" . But before we could start this scandinavian WHORE , square face and ass , ugly wheels , sunroof , leather seats , that bitch was ugly as sin , I think her name was Volvo or some shit like that , pulled in front of us . Then the owner of Miss Fugly says to my man " Mind if we go first , I don't need ya'll to hold us up " . To my surprise my man says " sure go ahead " . I was livid , but I calmed down .
FINALLY , we're ridin the Dragon About 2 miles in , what do ya know , there is little miss fugly . Damn right , we ran that bitch down . We tried to be nice , but little miss fugly would not yield . Then my man really surprised me . Going into a turn , he didn't brake We were rapidly approaching that ugly square ass . As we round the turn , my man PASSES the bitch . Thats what I'm talkin about . Now I'm smilin and saying to miss fugly " How does my ass look , take a good look b/c you won't see it much longer ......SKANK HO " .

Later at the store , people were looking at us differently and nobody was chuckling anymore . People were wanting to see under my hood . That was a very good day for me and my man .
Now when my man ask me to carry dead animals or trash bags or massive guitar amps , I don't mind at all b/c I know we will be going back to the Dragon and its all worth it .

To any of the Yari out there reading this , I hope that your owner treats you like mine treats me .