Real life funny stories

[TinyGiant]

Post some real life funny things.. can be short or long...


here are a couple :)

Back when i was in HS I had two good friends.. Phil and Ryan.. Phil would often visit ryan at his house and hang out .. One time Phil went over there and used the bathroom and completely stunk it up. Ryans dad poked fun at Phil a bunch of times.. Phil laughed it off.. but oddly enough Phil was kinda self conscious about it. So a couple months late Phil is over Ryans house.. and Phil gets the urge to drop another bomb.. So he has this brilliant idea...I'll poop outside so no one has to smell it.. Since it was dark he felt he could pull it off without getting caught.. So he told ryan what he was doing and told him to be the lookout.. So Phil leaned against the house and fertilized the garden.. sort to speak.. The stealthly pooping mission went off without a hitch.. Phil used some TP and hit it under a rock .. figuring it would just biodegrade when it rained.

So they hang out the rest of the night and Phil leaves and everything seems fine.

Later that night Ryan's family lets out the family dog to do its business. When it comes back into the house Joy is chewing something... little pieces are falling out of her mouth and landing on the floor... Ryans parents..wondering what she is eat goes up to her and opens her mouth.. excited to see them she decides to go into licking mode... Before they get right up to her they smell what she was eating... and now its a game to stay away from the dog and get out of the house.. which just excites the dog even more and throws her into a poo dripping play hound.. Ryans mother sees some of the poop on the floor and says "Where did that come from.. its doesnt even look like animal poop"

Ryan the whole time has to keep quiet ...IDK how he didnt absolutely die with laughter.. As his family is running away from his dog with a mouth full of Phil turd.

The next day at school Ryan told Phil about the whole fiasco and when we all heard about it we were crying with laughter..

Phil hates public restrooms and once made his girl friend hold up a towel around him so he could poop on a paper plate in a six flags parking lot .. when finished he slid the plate under the car and left it..

Imagine the questions that would arise from the kids of the next family.. asking what desert that is on the plate...




here is a couple quick ones..


My wife and I were planning on making a meal that required tooth picks. So as usual we went to Walmart to get our groceries.. but for the life of us could not find the toothpicks... So we looked around and little and finally decided to ask someone who worked at walmart for some help locating the toothpicks..

After a min of searching we find a man putting some stuff on a shelf and proceed to ask him where we can find the tooth picks. I walked up the man "Excuse me.. do you know where the toothpicks are?" He then tells me "yeah they would be with.. .in aisle ....( forget where exactly). When he opened his mouth to reveal the location of the tooth picks I couldnt help but notice he only had one tooth. .. you read correctly.. one tooth.. a big front tooth. I thanked him as we trembled away holding in what inevitably would explode into some tearful laughter 5-6 aisles away




here is my last one..


I used to be in youth ministry at my church as part of the adult leadership team.. Basically there to help run the group and keep the kids in line. We would go on trips quite often for training and such for the leaders and sometimes big meetings for the kids in other states. I believe this was in Cincinnati, OH.
It was Sunday morning and most of the leaders were already jones'n to get their coffee fix. So we all got ready and decided to walk the streets looking for a coffee shop. So we gathered up the group of kids and set out to find some coffee. We walked a few blocks and couldn't find anything. So I decided .. "hey lets find someone who is from around here and ask where the closest coffee shop is." They agree and we start looking. I Spot someone up ahead who obviously would know seeing that he was working and would definitely know the area... being that he was a cop... It didn't dawn on me that asking a cop where the nearest donut shop is with a group of 20 teenagers wouldn't be the brightest idea.. maybe i needed a coffee too..lol So i walked up to him.. "Excuse me sir, I was wondering if you knew where the nearest coffee shop is." His relpy..very ticked off sounding "No, I dont". You don't? I replied with sincere confusion.. "Nope, I dont think there are any around here" He said. I replied "Seriously there are no coffee places around here.. Were in the middle of the city there has to be something.." I think at tht point he realized i wasn't trying to be funny... And he said " Go two blocks up there is one on the left"

So i walked back to the group and we started walking.. The youth pastor said something to the effect.. man you have some balls... asking a cop where the donut shop is.. .. thats when it hit me ... I couldn't believe i didnt realize it.. lol it was funny we chuckled about it all morning.